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this random feeling suddenly appears again in my mind. i don't know why i cannot stop thinking of her. well i shouldn't doin this, i shouldn't think of her again and again. and i shouldn't love her..........
that suggestions can make me better again, but suddenly they don't work again when the feeling of heartless is come again. i ve tried my best to forget her, forget all the things on the past but i can't.
She has a boyfriend now, and it means that I have to kick this feeling out! maybe this is the impact that i get because i never said this feeling to her. but it's okay, being bestfriend is better for now.

I would rather be your best friend forever though it's hurt than being your ex in the next

thanks for coming to jogja. thanks for coming again in my life. thanks for a great experience in full day with you. thanks for being my special yesterday. thanks for making my heart beats so hard when you are next to me. have a nice journey. i dont know when we will meet again. but i just expect that you will come back to jogja again

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Hai Blog-walkers!
in this post i am gonna tell you about my special 19th day, yeaaah that's my birthday! actually it's been about 2 weeks after that special day, because my birthday was on march 30th. too late to post maybe, because i am too busy with my Fucking activities and deadlines, but i don't care haha.
There were so many unforgettable things on that day. Many wishes, many hopes, many revolution and of course many surprises.
On 29th of march night about  11.45 PM. My blackberry led can't stop to show its red. many mentions of twitter,BBM, and SMS made my phone soooo touchable hahaha, i always wanted to check it and read all the birthday greetings from my friends. Thanks guys for remembering my birthday. you all guys sooo sweet hehe.

Then dadadadadada the special day came. MARCH 30th 2012. Happy 19th birthday to me!
yay i felt nothing in that day especially when i went to campus because i just thought that yah i'm the college student. no more surprises. no more flour,egg, dirty water  and just flat, I just wanted to pass that day as usual.
something bad came when i wanted to go back to home, my friend caught me and then............ grrrrr my hair was dyed by grey glitter, then my Blackberry was hacked, and my motorcycle was dressed into a beautiful one and full of balloon and "sweet quotes" -_-.
But thanks yow rizal,aan,julius,amel,muti,rias,dayu,nisa, uci!

Some sweet quotes from them and i put it on my wall

And another surprise from IFSA LC UGM folks on the last day of march, Thanks guys for that special day, we spent the last day of march together until 02.00 AM hahaha

hmm, but anyway until right now, i still don't get any birthday greeting from someone special . I don't know maybe she forget about my birthday because yaaaa we are not as close as in the past and she also has been found her one. I thought she will be the one who greet me as happened in march 30th 2011, but maybe i just expected too much hahaha :| . But the hurt moment in that special day was, she had sent me a text but not for birthday greeting, she just said "kamu jahat". I don't know what is it for and what the meaning from that message. it ain't about the birthday greeting, but something makes me wonder until right now is, why she sent me that massage?

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Long time no see :|

hai blogger folks!
It has been 8 month not posting anything here
yeah i'm too busy lazy to update something new
hmmmm i forget to tell you all that now i'm in my first year of college, it's damn so cool because collage moment is the best moment ever i've been waiting for a long time (so fuc*ing false)
maybe for the first time ya i'm feelin like that, feeling like "wow this is so damn cool, i can do anything here like i see on TV drama, and blablabla......" yaa that's just for the first time! and the fact now is so untrue :( college moment is really hard! many tasks, practicums and reports! that's all spend my time so hard especially for report after practicum, it really spend my energy because i have to do it fast and do you know? it's not only just one report!
maybe here it is! the life of college student! busy with reports, always sleep late, feeling so sleepy when learning process and forget about love
sometimes i think that i wanna be a student of senior high school again or maybe junior high school! that moment is really cozy and unforgettable. I feel so regret when i was in SHS, i really really want to pass it and being a colleger, i did not use that moment well and too rash whereas SHS moment is really nice moment ever, like chrisye ever said in one of his song "Masa-masa paling indah, masa-masa di sekolah. tiada kisah paling indah, kisah klasik di sekolah" :(. So for you guys, a student of SHS, use your time to spend with you friends, your teacher and your girl/boyfrend! never think that you want to pass it soon because you  can't wait for the college moment. Just let it flow because there is the own time for it, and of course you will get it!
I reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally miss my SHS moment, the best moment ever, really unforgettable

 I really miss her so damn much :(

But i realize that the time will not be back again and life must go on. i have to ready to face the new life for the best future. past is past, and my life is for my future, The past can be my self motivated and i never ever forget it! 
and for now! i have to ready to face my new life in college. The real life has began! and it's been spend one semester. I have to focus!